10 months, Baby, can't wait for a cuddle, creche, miss him already, mum, settling in, This too shall pass

Heartbreak at leaving my crying baby at creche

Ok so my little one was officially 10 months yesterday, so not really a baby anymore. But as every mother says, he is still my baby!

Last week we started our creche settling in period for our little man. The first day he spent an hour there with daddy. He had a great time playing with all the new toys.

The second day he spent an hour there by himself. I dropped him off. He was busy playing with toys when I left and seemed happy out. Only upon collecting him did we find out about 15 mins after leaving he cried on and off for the rest of his time there. The good thing is that he wasn’t crying by the time he was picked up by nana.

The third day mummy and daddy dropped him off. Today he spent 2 hours at creche. Again, he was happy out when we left as he was busy playing with toys. But the same thing happened 15 mins after we left. He cried on an off until he was picked up by daddy and nana, he was delighted to see them both.

The fourth day, Friday, he went there for 3 hours. He got upset as daddy was leaving. The good thing is that he did sleep. And overall cried less while he was there. So that’s positive. But the minute he saw Daddy he burst into tears until he got a big cuddle.

Today it is my turn to drop him off. I didn’t think much about it as I was running around getting things ready for creche. He was so good going in. I put him down on the floor to play and he was fine. And then all of a sudden he just burst into tears. The kind of wail that means I just want my mummy. I picked him up and he stopped immediately. I handed him over to one of the girls and the wailing started again with his arms outstretched for me to take him back.

My heart absolutely broke. I had to leave my crying baby with people I didn’t know! My eyes start to well with tears of my own. And I start to take big breaths to keep back the tears. I am one of those people who wears my emotions on my sleeve. It was heart breaking walking out of the place. I drove straight to the local shopping centre for a haircut. I feel I deserve a bit of pampering!

I sit here with dye in my hair counting down the hours until I get a big cuddle! This is so much worse than being in work!

I know he will start to enjoy creche, but this settling in phase is so much worse than I ever imagined!Finally home with mummy!

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Baby, exhausted, single parent

Such respect for single mums!

Last week my husband went away for 3 nights with work. This was the first time I had to get both myself and our little one ready in the morning with no help. Usually I would make the bottle, grab a shower while my hubby gave our little one a bottle and then we would all go downstairs for breakfast. But when it was just me doing morning prep, things did not go so smoothly!

The first night I barely slept. Not only was I up when our little one woke, but I tossed and turned throughout the night stressed about how I would manage the next morning. It was the same poor quality sleep you get when you have an early morning flight to get the next day and you have the fear that you will sleep in!

The morning went better than expected. I managed to grab a shower before our little one got upset (he had woken but he was just cooing in bed) and because I was up before 6 I got everything I needed done before he woke (bottle prep, breakfast etc).

The following two mornings were not as successful as he woke earlier and was up more at night so I was more tired.

By the time my hubby was back, I was so exhausted! And so relieved to have our little team him back to normal!

However I have a much greater amount of respect for any single parent! It’s really hard to do things by yourself! You are all amazing!

Baby, breast feeding, Combination feeding, mastitis

My breastfeeding journey – the end is in sight!

When I originally thought of this blog post title, I didn’t think I would get my little one onto bottles, but thanks to the NUK closer to nature bottle, that’s not an issue (see my bottle review post here).

Mastitis – the devil!

Getting mastitis was what started me on the road to ending my breastfeeding journey. It is rare that someone will make it through their own breastfeeding journey without getting mastitis at least once. For others they can be riddled with it! I was lucky enough to avoid it up until my little one was 7 moths old. It hit me like a ton of bricks. It started with just feeling very uncomfortable one Sunday evening when I was lying down to go to sleep. One breast just felt really achy and sore to the touch. I thought nothing of it until I woke up the next day feeling extremely ill., I had a high temperature, aches and pains all over, a splitting headache, no energy and a very very sore breast. That’s the moment you realise there is no rest for us mommas! I couldn’t call in sick from my day job, and my little one needed as much attention as normal. I was lucky enough to have had a GP appointment that morning by chance. Had it not been booked, I probably would have gotten much worse before getting checked out. I was prescribed antibiotics which took a few days to clear up the infection. But the worse part was just how exhausted I was. It really surprised me how much of a toll a little infection can take on the body.

On the road to getting my boobs back!

Every piece of information I have read about breastfeeding is based on how to get breastfeeding established, how to get through the first few weeks. Nowhere at all does it tell you how to stop!

Once I got my little one to accept formula, I chose one feed every half a week or so to switch to a bottle feed. I started with day feeds, as I was going back to work, it was most important to get the little one onto a bottle when I wasn’t there. I tried to be rigid about the feed I chose and not offer him the boob for these feeds, despite him looking for it at times. There were days when he just needed boob comfort, for example when he got a terrible cold. But I just tried not to make it a habit.

All together it took about 8 weeks to get my little one off breastfeeding exclusively and onto formula during the day. Doing this slowly prevented the over-production of milk most of the time. I will admit, I am still feeding him in the middle of the night, but I will be dropping that soon. I never thought I would make it past 6 weeks feeding, then I said I would stop at 6 months. Now we are nine months in and I can’t believe it.

I am looking forward to getting my body back but I will really miss the closeness and connection you get from breastfeeding. But for now, I am just going to enjoy every last feed I have left.