How can something so natural be so hard

Breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world and in some countries, fundamental to the survival of your child, especially where clean water is not available. Breastfeeding rates in Ireland are the lowest in Europe at 56% on discharge from hospital compared with 90% in America and 81% in the UK. There is a large group of women banding together to normalise breastfeeding in Irish society again. Many women meet their baby with the intention of breastfeeding but this sometimes doesn’t work, with tongue tie and a lack of support being primary drivers of a breastfeeding journey ending prematury.

When I had my first baby I always planned on feeding him. I wanted to give him a strong start and knew of the unparralled benefits breast milk offers a baby. However no one mentioned how hard it is and it’s not any easier on a second child.

Even if you have a straight forward start to your journey, it should be acknowledged that it’s not easy.

For example I am currently sitting here at 5am trying to get my son back to sleep after a feed.

Breast feeding can be a lot of pressure as you are the only one that can do it. My husband is a fabulous support. But he sleeps soundly every night while I sit here feeding our little one and during the day, sometimes nothing but boob can settle your baby.

I find night feeding the hardest as its the most lonely. A night with a baby can vary so much but here is one of my nights 2 weeks ago, as an example:

9.30pm, I get ready for bed, my son’s feed is due soon and I want to be in bed. A feed lasts about 20 minutes but he is a bit unsettled lately. So it takes a while to fall asleep. 10.30pm he is finally in a deep enough sleep to get him into the side sleeper and grab some sleep myself.

11pm, our toddler is awake and having a tantrum. My husband is in with him but the kicking and screaming has nearly woken the baby. I lie there pleading for the baby to stay asleep. Thankfully he is in a deep enough milk coma and stays asleep. Finally the toddler is settled by 11.20 and I can try get some sleep.

1.30 am, the baby is awake. So it’s up to change his nappy and feed him. I hold him until 2.30 and pop him back bed, hoping I will get a good stretch.

3.45am he is awake already, that wasnt much of a sleep! I get him up, skip a nappy change given he wasn’t asleep long and give him a feed. Half way through he does a big poo. So it’s out of bed to change the nappy. And feeding process starts again. He is very unsettled and finding it hard to go back to sleep. He drifts close to sleep, my husband coughs and the baby is wide awake. So it’s back in the on for comfort and the rocking starts again. This happens 2 more times. I am so close to kicking my husband out of bed. My rational brain knows it’s not his fault,he is sound asleep, but my sleep deprived brain can only see his cough as the biggest obstacle to getting more sleep.

It’s 5am and he is still not in a deep sleep. I am wrecked. Finally at 5.30 I get him into the side sleeper. Deleriously delighted as my head hits the pillow. 7am and the toddler is awake ready to start a new day.

Total sleep: 5hrs 45 mins

Longest period of continuous sleep: 2 hours

Currently feeling: exhausted

As hard as feeding is, as lonely as those sleepless nights are, the bond that feeding my baby brings is totally worth it. It’s such a magical feeling. Seeing my baby get stronger taking only my milk is such a special feeling.

Yes its hard but seeing him thrive makes the sacrifice of sleep worth every second. After all, there will be plenty of time to sleep when the boys as older. So for now I will simply enjoy our cuddles and envision how I plan on waking the boys up early in the morning when they are teenagers. 😂

Getting breastfeeding established on baby number 2

I was lucky enough to breast feed my first boy until 10 months. But getting feeding established was not without its challenges. See my blog post here.

Preparing to feed my second son, I was more confident after my first experience, but still nervous as each baby is so different.

The first few days are challenging as both you and baby are trying to get use to feeding and baby is trying to learn how to latch correctly.

Your nipples get so tender as they get used to feeding. This can result in blisters, cracks, bleeding etc. which make each subsequent feed more painful. Something I only learned about on this journey was Angel Cups, they are silver cups that trap milk around your nipples and provide the best healing environment using your own breast milk while providing a natural antibactial protection.

I was only using these during the day time at first but at night my nipples cracked and bled. Resulting in my son vomiting blood, which is a little frightening. Once I started wearing them all day and night, the cuts thankfully healed up.

Initially baby gets colostrum, first milk, from you which is extremely high in calories as baby’s starts to grow. It can can then take some time for your milk to come in. In order to ge milk in, baby typically cluster feeds constantly (usually on nights 2 and 3 after birth). This is a very hard time, as you feel you will never sleep again, but trust me, as with all phases for babies, this too passes.

My son’s latch was not right on one side causing a lot of pain feeding (And a bout of mastitis at only 2 weeks in). I mentioned this to my PHN who referred me to the lactation PHN. She came out to the house and spent an hour with us checking my son’s latch, checking for tongue tie and reviewing both our histories. It was incredible that with a few minor tweaks all feeding pain was gone.

Undiagnosed tongue tie is one of the biggest reasons for BF journeys ending very early. Make sure you keep checking with professionals that your little one does not have one, and if in doubt, seek help from a lactation consultant.

My advice for establishing breastfeeding:

1. Invest in a set of angel cups, they cost about 60 euro but well worth the investment.
2. Never be afraid to ask anyone near you for a drink or something to eat, breast feeding is hungry and thirsty work!
3. Try and sleep at any opportunity you get, getting feeding established is exhausting (see photo below)
4. Go to the breast feeding classes that are provided by the hospital
5. Make sure you try get as much skin to skin as you can after birth
6. Find out when your breastfeeding meet up is on in your local health centre
7. Look into joining local cuidiu or la leche league groups, fellow BF mums are a fountain of knowledge
8. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from your public health nurse, if they can’t help, they can always refer you to a lactation PHN
9. If you feel like something is not right, talk to other BF mums, they can quickly tell you if they have had similar experiences and if not make sure to seek advice from a lactation consultant
10. Remember each journey is so different and BF does not work for everyone, so however you are feeding your baby relax and go with it, we are all just trying to do or best for our babies, so don’t stress about your feeding decisions

Breast feeding is not easy to start but the first 6 weeks are the hardest. I find great feeding tiring but so rewarding. There is nothing more magical than looking down at my baby enjoying his milk ♥️