So a lot of my posts recently (well pre pandemic as its near imposdible finding time to write at the moment) have been about our newest addition. So I wanted to do an updated post about my oldest. He is currently 3 years old and he rules the roost.
If anyone has a child and claims that they never throw a tantrum, don’t believe them. All kids go through a tantrum phase. While we had our fair share of tantrums during the terrible two’s, they were nothing when compared to our current theeenager tantrums. I will also note I am writing this during lock down, a period when all emotions are magnified which really doesn’t help!
For anyone unsure about the term, a threenager is a three year old that constantly acts like they are going on 13. They are so strong willed (should I say stubborn), their attitude can be so frustrating (basically it stinks!) and if they want something, they want it NOW! And to add fuel to the fire, they are at an age where they are often dropping their day nap.
To be fair, our little threenager has been through a lot with the addition of his little brother and now no creche, but god almighty we never anticipated the wrath that can be triggered from trying to take him outside to play. 😂😂
Mummy, daddy and his poor bother have all been bitten, pushed, slapped and kicked. The first time he slapped me across the face I was just so shocked. I thought to myself “what have I done wrong”. I felt like a total failed parent!
It was only upon reflection, that I realised it wasn’t me, it’s a phase (at least I tell myself that). I now try and preempt a tantrum trigger event or diffuse them with some techniques I have learned along the way. I also try and understand what is causing them, as often there is something going on and he is struggling to process the emotions. I have put together some tips for dealing with a threenager:
- My son loves to complete things. So if you ask him to leave mid game, program etc. he goes mental and to be fair, I don’t like being taken away from something I am in the middle of doing either, to do something someone else wants me to do. So giving a warning always helps as notice. “When this episode is over we are going for a walk etc.”
- Getting him out of the bath can be a challenge as he loves bath time. A simple count down of time “you have 5 minutes left” can help him understand bath time is coming to an end and prepare him to get out
- Leaving somewhere fun can be a challenge. Why would any child like to leave the bridge where he gets to throw stones in the water. Turning our walk away into a game can really help. He loves shouting “fee fi foe fum” while doing giant jumps or doing giant jumps over the cracks in the pavement (just try and remember what you loved doing as a child!)
- He can get very mischievous during which time he tends to break things, do things you ask him not to do or hurt his brother. I often try and think when he was last outside and find it’s directly correlated to too much pent up energy. A quick run around outside makes all the difference.
- He has a real tendency to shout and scream when he wants something as he wants it NOW. Trying to remain calm and asking him “do you get what you want by screaming at people?” often helps to remind him to ask nicely.
- He is a terror for holding onto his wee for as long as possible. And he will be bursting to wee but won’t go, which puts him in a terrible mood. Sometimes we just have to sit him on the loo. He screams the house down but after he is much better.
- Finally, three year olds really struggle to process their emotions. This is amplified if they have had a disturbed nights sleep or they are over tired. I have asked him a few times recently “do you want a big cuddle” and 90% of the time he says yes. Just some quite cuddle time can really help him regulate his emotions again.
While the tantrums are so hard, the ups are just fabulous. He is at an age where he can articulate most things, his imagination is incredible and everything is a game. All he wants is attention and for you to play a game with him, dig in the garden or kick a football.
He is loving, caring and cheeky all at once. I know I will look back and really miss it and all the memories of tantrums will be gone. So I will try and just focus on the highs for now. 🙂
MY ADVENTURE INTO THE WORLD OF MOTHERHOOD 